It had arrived—the day Daniel had longed for, though it all seemed to have unfolded so quickly. The steady rush of water poured from the rainwater showerhead, striking his skin with the force he'd sought out when designing this sanctuary. It was the kind of shower meant to wash away his burdens, a personal waterfall to cleanse the anxieties that had once ruled his life. The sensation called back memories of Iceland—of stripping bare beside the untamed waterfall near his childhood home. Back then, the cool water pummelled him with a ferocity that made all his worries, his struggles, and the confusion about who he was seem trivial. Nature's power had overwhelmed him, leaving him with a sense of clarity, of purpose, and he had tried to recreate that feeling here, in his new life in the Netherlands. There were still moments when he needed to feel connected to something bigger than himself, and today was one of those moments.
As he stepped out of the shower and began drying his broad, heavy frame, he caught his reflection in the large mirror. He admired the transformation his body had undergone—no longer the lithe, chiselled figure that had once been his passport to privilege, but something larger, fuller, something that felt more his. In those younger years, he had been a perfect specimen of what society demanded: lean, taut, and meticulously sculpted. And yes, he had enjoyed some of the advantages that came with that appearance—the easy pleasures, the fleeting indulgences, the way others had sought him out simply because of his beauty and the status that came with it. But none of it had been real. None of it had been for him.
Now, standing here, he realized that the thin, beautiful young man he'd once been was merely an illusion, a facade designed to please others—his family, society, himself even, though in retrospect, he knew better. The cost of maintaining that body, of suppressing his true desires, had been steep. He had denied himself indulgence, refused to succumb to the foods he craved, burying that urge deep within him as if his very survival depended on resisting it. He had been raised to believe that no success, no happiness, could be found in fatness. His childhood had conditioned him against the pleasures of excess, and so he had become a master of restraint.
But there was always that question that tore at him from within: why did he have this need? Why, despite everything, had he yearned to let go, to surrender to the indulgence of being fat, to lose himself in laziness and appetite? Wasn't being gay enough of a deviation? He remembered how, year after year, he would return to the waterfall, standing naked beneath its punishing torrent, letting it strike him over and over again as if the pain of it could wash away the ugliness, he believed lay within him. There had been something monastic about it, a ritual of penance, like the monks or priests he'd seen in films, flogging themselves to feel closer to God.
But now, here he was, naked and unrepentant, and feeling more himself than ever. His body had become what he’d always wanted it to be—fat, obese even—and he had never felt so at peace with himself. He felt handsome, confident and far sexier than he ever had. His past was a life of conformity, but now he was in control. He thought about Michal, the beautiful young man who had somehow entered his life, disrupting it in the most unexpected of ways. A boy, really, at just 23, yet Daniel found himself drawn to him in ways he hadn’t anticipated. They had never met in person, and yet Michal had become someone he thought about constantly—someone who made him feel, for the first time in years, uncertain. Careful.
Daniel pulled on his underwear and made his way to the kitchen to start the coffee machine. As he waited for the brew, he couldn't shake the question that had been floating in his mind all morning: Why this boy? There had been no shortage of men eager to meet him, to share a moment, a night, or something more. It was all available to him, as it had always been. And yet, he had wanted none of it—until now. Michal was different. There was something about him, something in those intense, beautiful green eyes. There was depth there, complexity. Every word, every message, felt deliberate, thought out, as if Michal had layers Daniel had yet to uncover. It was a far cry from the shallow exchanges he had become accustomed to on the apps, where the only questions seemed to revolve around his weight and size. Michal’s curiosity ran deeper, and in turn, Daniel felt the stirrings of something he hadn’t felt in a long time: genuine intrigue.
He snapped back to the present, realizing he had been lost in thought, his coffee cooling in the mug in front of him. Time was slipping away from him, and Michal would be here soon. Daniel hurried to finish packing, making sure everything was organized, that the parking was sorted, that the day would flow seamlessly. There was a certain nervousness creeping in, though he tried to shake it off. Why was he so flustered? It wasn’t as if he hadn’t met attractive men before. But Michal was different. There was an unpredictability about him that excited and terrified Daniel in equal measure.
By the time he left the house, he was already behind schedule, and the text from Michal saying he’d be arriving earlier than expected only added to the rush of nerves. The workday was harder than expected and felt endless, but finally, it came to a close, and he made his way to the car.
Daniel drove with a rare lack of control, his mind racing as fast as the wheels beneath him. He couldn’t help but think about how he wanted everything to be perfect—how he had even picked out the tight polo shirt to wear, imagining how Michal would see him, admire him. But now he was barely going to make it on time.
As the car skidded to a halt at a red light, Daniel caught his reflection in the rear-view mirror. His face was flushed, his lips chapped, oddly dry, and there was redness all around his face. Why today, of all days, did he feel so off? He wasn’t normally so concerned with his appearance, not like this. But there was something about Michal that made him want to appear his best, to be perfect in a way he hadn’t felt in years.
And then, finally, he saw him. Michal, standing outside the central station, waiting. Even from a distance, Daniel could see that the FaceTime call and pictures didn’t do him justice. In person, he was breath-taking. A pang of excitement, mixed with awkwardness, shot through Daniel’s body as he pulled up to the curb. As Michal climbed into the car, the smell of his scent—fresh, understated, but entirely captivating—filled the small space between them. Daniel smiled, offering a half-hug, a hand on Michal’s thigh, feeling an immediate connection.
The drive to the hotel felt like an eternity compressed into minutes. Daniel’s nerves were palpable, his thoughts darting between excitement and uncertainty as he struggled to keep his eyes on the road. He found himself stealing glances at Michal, who sat with an air of effortless composure, dressed in a dark blue turtleneck that hugged his frame in just the right way, his black chinos looked stylish yet comfortable. There was a quiet elegance to him, a calm that felt almost practiced, as if he had mastered the art of making everything seem intentional without trying. His dirty-blonde hair fell naturally across his forehead, the soft strands catching the dim light from the overcast sky outside. As Michal spoke about his long journey, the rhythmic cadence of his voice only heightened Daniel’s sense of something brewing beneath the surface.
Daniel felt a stirring inside him, a giddiness that wasn’t quite like anything he’d felt in years. It was boyish, full of a nervous thrill, yet weighed down by the gravity of the moment. Here was this young man, someone who seemed to hold more within him than his years would suggest, sitting beside Daniel in the car—so close, so real. The pull of him was magnetic, and it took every ounce of focus for Daniel to keep his eyes on the road.
But Michal noticed. Of course, he noticed.
“Focus on the road,” Michal said quietly, his tone firm yet soft, a command wrapped in velvet. It was a voice that didn’t demand; it simply expected to be obeyed.
Daniel, startled by the sudden directive, adjusted his grip on the wheel, forcing himself to look forward. He blinked a few times, steadying himself, but he could feel Michal’s eyes on him, studying him, assessing. There was a brief pause, and then Michal’s hand moved, resting gently on Daniel’s belly, the touch sending a slow, deliberate spark of electricity through him.
The weight of that hand felt like more than just touch—it was a statement. A claiming of space that Daniel hadn’t anticipated but found he welcomed. He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. His mind raced, but his body began to calm, almost against his will. Michal’s hand lingered there for a moment, the warmth of his palm sinking into Daniel’s skin, before sliding up, brushing ever so lightly against his chest. The motion was casual, but the effect was anything but. Daniel’s heartbeat quickened, his breath catching as Michal’s fingers grazed his nipples, the softest of touches, but deliberate, enough to send a ripple of arousal through him.
It was then that Daniel realized what was happening: Michal was in control, and not in the way Daniel had ever experienced before. There was no rush, no expectation, no overwhelming force of lust. It was something more nuanced, more dangerous, because it was so subtle. Michal’s command had been quiet, his touch gentle, but the effect was profound—Daniel, who was so used to being the one in charge, found himself willingly surrendering to this unexpected dynamic.
A thrill shot through him, a thrill he hadn’t anticipated. He liked this. He liked the way Michal moved with such quiet confidence, how he seemed to understand Daniel in ways no one else had. There was a mystery to him, something lurking just beneath the surface that Daniel longed to uncover. Every touch, every word from Michal felt deliberate, measured, as if he was holding back something more. And that restraint only made Daniel want him more.
Daniel’s body responded before his mind could catch up, the arousal building with every passing second, with every breath they shared in that confined space. He shifted in his seat, suddenly all too aware of the heat between them, of the way Michal’s touch had left a mark, a promise of something more to come. The air in the car felt thick, heavy with unspoken tension, the promise of something new, something unexpected.
Michal’s hand withdrew as quickly as it had come, leaving Daniel with a sense of loss, but also with the lingering impression of his touch. As if Michal was reminding him that this was only the beginning, that there was much more to be discovered, more to be explored in this strange, exciting connection between them. The mystery of it all made Daniel’s heart race. He had never been on this side of control before, never found himself so drawn to someone who could quietly command him without effort, without force. And the truth of it was, he needed this—this shift, this letting go. He needed Michal in ways he hadn’t yet fully grasped, but he could feel it building inside him with every passing second.
After parking the car in the pre-paid parking garage, Daniel and Michal grabbed their luggage. Much to Daniel’s surprise, he realized that his suitcase was nearly double the size of Michal’s. It was an odd sensation, being a guest in a hotel in his own city, and even odder that he had packed so much for just two days. But Michal—well, Michal would be traveling on after their time together, heading to Amsterdam and then elsewhere, continuing his journey. Daniel tried not to dwell on what Michal might be doing in Amsterdam or who he might meet, but it secretly ate away at him in the quiet moments. Already, after only 20 minutes together, Daniel felt a sense of powerlessness over this young man, a possessiveness he didn’t want to admit. He had no right to ask Michal about his plans or what awaited him in the coming days, but he wanted to know—wanted to understand Michal’s true intentions, to figure out what this could mean for him.
As they stepped out of the parking garage into the cool, unpredictable Dutch weather, Daniel led them toward the hotel. The instructions had seemed clear enough, but as they walked, confusion set in. The buildings around them blurred into one another, and soon he realized they had been circling the same block. Every turn led to another dead-end or a street he couldn’t quite place. His attempts to keep up a steady conversation with Michal faltered. Michal’s calm, inquisitive voice only added to Daniel’s growing frustration, as he felt the pressure of being the one who should know this city—the one who should have everything under control. Instead, he felt more lost than ever.
The morning’s rain hung in the air, a constant threat, drops beginning to fall intermittently as they walked. Daniel could feel his body tiring, his breath heavier with each step. The weight of his own body made everything feel harder, his legs straining under the extra pounds he carried. His feet ached, his back stiffened, and still, the hotel remained elusive. He forced himself to engage with Michal, smiling through his discomfort, trying to seem composed. But the truth was, every step felt like a punishment. His body, once fit and capable, was now the source of his exhaustion, and he felt himself growing more self-conscious by the second. He didn’t want Michal to notice how out of breath he was, how his shirt clung uncomfortably to his damp skin. He could feel the sweat beginning to form beneath the fabric, his shirt sticking to his back, and his face flushing even redder than before.
After what felt like an eternity, Daniel finally gave in and called the hotel for assistance. The conversation was short but revealing—there was no reception, no one to greet them, only a set of codes and directions to let them into the building. Daniel sighed, feeling the weight of embarrassment press down on him. How could he have missed that detail? He felt foolish, leading Michal around in circles like this, and he silently cursed himself for not being more prepared.
By the time they had the codes, standing at the right hotel door entrance, the rain had begun to pick up, the soft drizzle turning into a steady shower. Daniel could feel the moisture clinging to his skin, mixing with the sweat from the walk, and as they entered the hotel room, he was relieved to finally be indoors. It wasn’t exactly how he had imagined their arrival—he had pictured something smoother, more effortless, something that would make Michal feel welcomed and taken care of. Instead, he felt flustered, exposed, and tired.
The room itself was a small apartment, charming enough, but the weight of everything Daniel had done to make this work lingered. The truth was the room had cost far more than he had led Michal to believe. It wasn’t that he had intended to lie, but rather that he didn’t want Michal to feel any obligation to pay for the comforts Daniel needed. As a student, Michal couldn’t be expected to contribute in the same way, and Daniel had accepted that. Still, he had rationalized the lie—Michal’s suggestions for accommodations had been impossibly minimalist, far too basic for Daniel’s taste. He needed this—this comfort, this space—and Michal didn’t need to worry about the details. In Daniel’s mind, it was a kindness.
As Michal went to the bathroom to freshen up, Daniel took the opportunity to change out of his damp, sweaty shirt. He pulled on a fresh, tighter one, something he knew would catch Michal’s attention. The fabric clung to his belly, accentuating the curves he knew Michal liked. He spritzed a little of his cologne—Aqua Di Gio—onto his neck, the scent fresh and clean, a subtle but intentional gesture. He sat on the bed, adjusting his shirt so his belly was slightly exposed, a small enticement for when Michal would return. He felt a strange thrill at the thought of Michal coming out of the bathroom, of seeing the young man’s reaction. There was something in the way Michal moved, the way he carried himself that made Daniel feel both excited and unsure of himself. He found himself willing to do almost anything to please him, even if he didn’t fully understand why.
When Michal emerged, Daniel’s breath caught in his throat. The younger man looked even better than he had in the car, his skin freshly washed, his white t-shirt clinging to him in all the right places. There was something about the way he moved, the quiet confidence in his stride, that made Daniel feel… enchanted. Was he under a spell? How could he be this attracted to someone he had just met in person? But when Michal walked over to him, smiling that knowing smile, Daniel felt all his confusion melt away.
Michal slid into the bed beside him, their bodies naturally finding each other. The initial awkwardness of the day seemed to dissolve, replaced by something softer, more intimate. Daniel could feel Michal’s arms around him, their bodies pressing together. They kissed, slowly at first, lips exploring, hands tracing over each other’s bodies, but Michal held back. Daniel could feel the restraint in him, the way he controlled the moment, and it surprised him how much he liked it. There was a tension between them, an unspoken promise of what could happen, but Michal kept them grounded, never letting it tip over into something more.
It was new for Daniel—this feeling of safety, of being cared for, even in such a simple embrace. He was a big, strong man, but with Michal, he felt… protected. As if Michal was the one guiding them through this, allowing Daniel to relax in a way he rarely did. They lay there for a while, kissing, hugging, and touching each other over their clothes, the connection between them growing deeper, more meaningful with every moment.
When Michal eventually pulled back, he looked Daniel in the eyes, his voice soft but clear. “What’s next?” he asked, breaking the haze that had settled over them.
Daniel blinked, his mind racing to catch up. He had barely thought past this moment, too caught up in the excitement of having Michal here with him. But Michal’s question pulled him back to reality. “The beach,” Daniel said, remembering the list of things Michal had wanted to do. Even though the weather was far from ideal, it was one of the places Michal had asked to see. The Dutch coastline, with its cold winds and moody skies, was a far cry from the sun-drenched beaches of other places, but there was something about it that Daniel hoped would resonate with Michal.
Before they left the room, they took a few pictures together—something Daniel knew Michal wanted. Much to his surprise, being the experienced model that he was, Daniel fumbled at first, unsure how to pose together, feeling awkward under the lens. But after playing around for a while, they laughed at the absurdity of it all, making it feel more natural. The rain was still falling lightly when they finally stepped outside, the air crisp and cool as they headed toward the beach. Daniel only hoped that the weather would hold out long enough for them to enjoy it.
The beach was far more beautiful than Daniel had anticipated, despite the weather that remained stubbornly cold and windy. The sea seemed endless, a grey horizon melting into the sky, and yet, it had a kind of raw, untamed beauty that suited the moment. The wind bit at his face, sharp and relentless, but he barely noticed it. Michal had accepted Daniel’s oversized black jacket, the one he always kept in the car for emergencies, with a soft smile. There was something unexpectedly charming about seeing Michal, this young, magnetic figure, swallowed up in Daniel’s basic, practical coat. The sight of it made Daniel feel a quiet kind of pride—Michal, in his jacket, relying on his warmth, even in this small way.
They found refuge in a nearby beach café, the warm scent of coffee and Dutch fried goods greeting them as they stepped inside. Daniel, made softer, more thoughtful, by Michal’s presence, knew they’d need the warmth and comfort before braving the chill on the sand. He ordered coffee, while Michal opted for a hot chocolate with a splash of rum—an unexpected choice that made Daniel smile. It was a curious drink, one that seemed both childish and grown-up at the same time, just like Michal himself. The warmth of the rum, he thought, would work its way into Michal’s body, and he was only too happy to encourage it.
As they sipped their drinks, the conversation flowed easily, with a warmth that matched the café’s cosy interior. Daniel felt himself relax, his usual guarded nature softening under the simple joy of Michal’s company. They talked about nothing and everything, the kind of idle chatter that fills the space between two people growing more comfortable with one another. Daniel found himself laughing, a sound that felt unfamiliar and strangely freeing. It had been so long since he’d felt this way—this light, this present.
After their drinks, the weather shifted ever so slightly. The wind still whipped around them as they made their way to the shore, but there was a brightness in the air now, a hint of sun peeking through the clouds. Daniel found himself growing happier as he watched Michal come alive at the beach, his excitement contagious. They began taking pictures—first of each other, and then Michal, wanting Daniel to capture him against the backdrop of the sea.
There was a vulnerability in that moment, as Michal instructed Daniel on his preferred angles, the way he liked to be seen in photos. It was a curious mix of confidence and insecurity, a quiet reminder that even in his easy charm, Michal was still just a young man, navigating how he wanted to be perceived. Daniel found it sweet, endearing even, and as he snapped the pictures, he felt the cold wind fade into the background. All he could focus on was Michal’s smile, the way his eyes lit up as he posed, the natural joy that radiated from him. It made Daniel’s heart swell in a way he hadn’t expected.
The date wasn’t long, but by the time they made their way back to the car, Daniel’s body ached in a way. His feet hurt, his back even more stiff, but none of that mattered. Not when Michal was laughing beside him, not when Daniel could feel the happiness radiating between them. It struck him, suddenly and deeply—was this what a real date was supposed to feel like? For so long, his experiences had been clouded by unspoken expectations, agendas, a transactional nature that left him feeling empty. There was always an endgame—someone wanting something from him, usually sex, and nothing more. But this... this felt different. This felt right.
As they headed back to the hotel, stopping at a grocery store for snacks and drinks, Daniel felt that bittersweet realization settle in his bones. He had been missing this all along—this connection, this mutual exchange. Michal had awakened something in him, a clarity that had been missing from his life for far too long. The years of settling, of compromising himself, now weighed heavily on him. This wasn’t just about Michal; it was about everything he had been denying himself, all the ways he had let his life drift into something comfortable but unsatisfying.
The truth hung over him like a storm cloud, threatening to break at any moment: he was married. Technically separated, yes, but still married. He still lived with Alex, and no matter how he framed it, no matter how open or honest he tried to be, it was a fact that couldn’t be ignored. It was a truth he had shared with Michal from the beginning—he hadn’t wanted to lie, to pretend he was something he wasn’t. Michal had taken it in stride, insisting that Daniel stop bringing it up, that it was ok, just made him feel uncomfortable to talk about. And yet, it mattered to Daniel. It was the constant, unspoken shadow hanging over them.
As they returned to the hotel room, snacks in hand, there was a shift in the air. It felt like they were coming home, in a way, even though Daniel knew it was only temporary. There was a warmth between them now, something soft and genuine, and Daniel found himself wishing he could stay lost in this fantasy. But he couldn’t escape the reality of their time limit—the fact that, as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t spend the night here. He had to return home. He had work in the morning, and the stress of it constantly nibbling at him, knowing he couldn’t sleep well if he stayed. Michal had been understanding, as always, but Daniel hated the thought of leaving. He hated that Michal might think it was because of his husband.
The truth of his marriage loomed large. He and Alex had been living in a state of quiet separation for years now, a marriage in name only, built on mutual respect and a deep, almost familial love. But it wasn’t what it used to be, and it hadn’t been for a long time. The love they shared was that of brothers, not partners, and Daniel had grown tired of pretending otherwise. And yet, breaking free from that was harder than he had expected. He had spent so long living in that liminal space, that now, faced with the possibility of something new, something real, he didn’t quite know how to proceed.
As they settled into the room, Daniel couldn’t help but marvel at how easy it felt to be with Michal. They ordered pizza and ate together on the bed, towels spread beneath them to keep things tidy. It was a small gesture, but one that Daniel appreciated—Michal’s thoughtfulness mirrored his own, and it made Daniel like him even more.
They kissed, slow and unhurried, the weight of the evening pressing in on them. Daniel’s belly, full from the meal, pressed against Michal, and he could see the way Michal’s eyes lit up with quiet desire. It was something they had spoken about, something Michal had promised earlier when Daniel admitted how physically tired, he was from walking. Michal had promised him a massage when they returned to the hotel, and now, as their kiss deepened, Michal broke away with a gentle but firm command.
“Go take a shower,” Michal said, his voice soft but insistent. “I’ll be waiting to give you that massage.”
It was more than just a sweet gesture. It was a moment of revelation for Daniel—a reminder that he was allowed to be cared for, that he didn’t always have to be the one in control. As he stood to head for the shower, he felt a strange sense of peace wash over him. For the first time in a long while, he was living in the moment, letting things unfold naturally, without the need to control or direct them. And in that, he found a kind of freedom he hadn’t known he needed.
